


Never let me go

by Bleepblopbloop56



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-22
Updated: 2019-08-21
Packaged: 2020-09-23 17:33:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20343982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bleepblopbloop56/pseuds/Bleepblopbloop56
Summary: Another "virgil doesnt have a soulmate" au(Also tottaly not just me posting something old to try and figure out how to use this fucking website)





	1. Chapter 1

Virgil didn’t have a soulmate. Not really a surprise. A lot of people didn’t have soulmates, it was fairly common actually. Only about 75% of the population actually HAD the black stains on their skin, showing the first place their soulmate would touch them. Some people never find their soulmates, and that was fine. People still continued dating and getting married, even with people they knew weren’t their soulmate. Sometimes soulmates just didn’t exist, and that was okay.

What wasn’t okay was the stigma around not having a soulmate. In schools kids were often bullied for not having one, leading to higher risk of mental health problems in people without them.

The way that soulmarks work is simple. From the moment you’re born a black stain appears on your skin, the first time that your soulmate touches you will be in that place and you’ll know because the mark bursts into color. Most people had them on their hands, signifying a handshake, an accidental brushing of hands, a slap in some cases.

His friend Logan had one covering most of his back. His friend Roman had the usual hand one, covering the bottom an some of the top half of his fingers. Dee had one looking suspiciously like a bitch slap... Perhaps the soulmark shaped the person. Maybe if Dee had a different soulmark he wouldn’t act like such an ass all the time, practically begging to be slapped by someone. Maybe Logan wouldn’t be so observant if he wasn’t always sitting with his back towards the wall, watching the place, because he didn’t WANT a soulmate. Maybe if Virgil had a soulmark he’d be happy. Maybe he wouldn’t cover up every inch of his skin so people on the street wouldn’t know about his fate, maybe he’d actually let people touch him instead of jerking violently at even the wind, if it dares to get too close.

Maybe if Virgil wasn’t so closed off he would’ve known sooner…

God how Virgil wished this would just be a normal day. How he wished he could turn back time and just, make things better. Patton was running just a bit too fast down the school’s hallway, Logan was walking a bit too slow to carry on a conversation outside of Virgil’s classroom. And suddenly, Logan’s back was slammed into by Patton’s chest, knocking them both over in the process. Logan gasped, but not in pain, and frantically tried feeling at his back. Patton took a minute more to realise what was happening, to even realise that had hit someone and fell.

“Logan?! Are you okay?!” virgil helped him up and tried his best to ignore the growing crowd of people. Logan didn’t seem to notice, or if he didn’t, he didn’t care.

“Check, please check” logan panted out, still not quite being able to grasp the situation. Virgil grimaced as he pulled the back of Logan’s shirt up and sure enough, his previously black stained skin was now covered in bright shades of blue, standing out against the rainbows. Patton was frantically pulling at his own collar, pushing it down just enough to expose the bright rainbow colors of a newly found soulmate.

“Oh my goodness!!!!” patton squealed jumping up and nearly tackling logan in a hug. And for the first time any of them have ever seen, logan laughed. He actually laughed as he wrapped his arms around patton and hugged him back. Sure, him and virgil had been friends for a while and he had seen logan chuckle, but this was different. This was a full blown laugh. Logan was happy. The local “i don’t need a soulmate” emotionless robot had seemed to completely forget his disinterest as he grabbed on tight to the happiest person in the world. Patton had tears in his eyes as he laughed too. Of course the goofiest, most clumsy boy in school ends up with a boy like him.

Virgil felt sick. He always heard that seeing someone get a soulmate was beautiful, “almost as beautiful as meeting your own” apparently. But seeing his best friend so happy, hugging a boy with a rainbow chest, it was just another reminder that of course virgil didn’t have a soulmate, and of course his best friend did.

Everyone always thought roman would be one of the many people to not notice when their soulmark changed colors. Too many people brushed against each other in a crowd, never to be seen or heard from again. Most people assumed that since he did such vivid arm movements when he talked, expressing himself much like a cartoon, he’d end up somehow slapping someone who sat to close and not realising it.

“How could i ever not realise i touched my soulmate?! Its my true love i think i would know!!” princey said, wildly gesturing with his fork accidently slapping someone with a piece of chicken before plopping it into his mouth, completely oblivious.

“Are you 100% certain you would notice?” Patton had very quickly been pulled into their group of friends after the whole soulmate incident. Virgil hated seeing them together. He hated seeing the two together everyday and not being able to suppress his anger and sadness over not having someone to make him that happy. Almost everyone was surprised that logan “i don’t want a soulmate” berry was nearly constantly holding hands with patton foster and almost everyone could admit that he looked happier after they met. it made virgil sick.

“I’m just saying if this nerd found a soulmate before me something must be wrong with fate!” the conversation faded out as virgil stared off into space. All this soulmate talk never failed to make virgil uncomfortable. They knew he was still there right? He was snapped out of his thoughts by a grape smacking him straight in the face.

“Yo, stormcloud, you good?” roman never really was good at comforting, or being nice for that matter. He tended to upset people without meaning to with his mannerisms and jokes and nicknames. Half the school hated him and he had no idea what he did.

“Yeah, fine” virgil replied darkly, hiding a bit more behind his jet black bangs. He knew it was irrational to be angry at the group, none of them were responsible for his lack of soulmate. That was all his fault for being born wrong.

“I’m going to the bathroom” he choked out, leaving the table with tears in his eyes. Maybe he could just skip the rest of the school day. Then he wouldn’t have to see any godforsaken soul couples with their hand holding and forehead kissing and reminders of how virgil would never have that.

Maybe if he hadn’t come to school today none if this would’ve happened. Maybe if he just stayed home his life would forever be different.

Maybe if he’d just stayed home he wouldn’t be having a panic attack with Roman prince sitting in front of him trying to calm him down.

“I can’t- i can’t- I can’t- I cant-” his breath came in violent hiccups as he reached into his hair and started to pull. Roman had never seen him so torn up over something so small like a kiss on the cheek. It was like the littlest things set him off anymore.

“please try and breathe Virgil, come on, deep breaths” he had no idea what he was doing and just prayed that he helped him in some way. Virgil shook his head and violently jerked away from Romans hand when it reached out to touch him.

“it’s not- it’s not fucking fair! It’s not fair it’s not fair” Virgil cried, curling in on himself, crying so hard he could puke. It wasn’t fair that other people got to be happy when Virgil didn’t. It wasn’t fair that Virgil got called names and pushed around just because he didn’t have a soulmate. It wasn’t fair.

Roman was desperately trying to calm down the boy in front of him, resisting the urge to just hug him and hold him tight. But Virgil didn’t like touching. And he definitely didn’t want to be touched now when he was freaking out over soulmates, when he was panicking.

But his hands were pulling at his hair, he was going to hurt himself if he didn’t stop soon.

Roman weighed his options and decided that he’d help calm him down after he made sure he was safe.

“Virgil please..” Roman reached his hand out and Virgil jerked his away, trying to avoid contact and leaving romans hand nowhere to go but in his hair.

And it was so much more beautiful than they could’ve ever imagined. It felt like Sparks and birthdays and puppies and love. All the negative emotions drained from them immediately, leaving them both gasping at the sudden change. Virgil’s hair burst into colors, shades of purples and blues outshining the rest.

“but… I thought I didn’t..” Virgil shot up from the floor and ran to the mirror. Hoping ad begging that he wasn’t just imagining the feeling. And he was more than overjoyed that his edgy vibe was brutally murdered by his now rainbow hair.

And he smiled. He smiled and smiled and smiled and smiled. He finally understood why couple’s acted the way they did when they met their soulmate. Why Logan was laughing, why Patton was crying, why even if you met in the middle of a tragedy you couldn’t help feeling like it’d all be okay. It was all so much love that left no room for pain or negativity. And then Virgil was crying, this time tears of joy.

“dude..” Roman whispered before jumping to his feet,“ DUDE!!!! Your hair!!! My hand!! Oh my God oh my fucking God look!!!” Roman gestures wildly towards his own hand, bouncing up and down like a middle schooler.

And then Roman was close, and closer, and then they were hugging and everything was electric. Romans head was nestled into Virgil’s hair, and it felt perfect. He placed a kiss right on the top of Virgil’s head, and it was fireworks all over again.

“is this how it’s gonna feel Everytime we touch?” Roman whispered, more to himself than anything, “ cause I’m never letting you go”

“Never let me go…”


	2. Lets try again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Also figuring out how to add second chapters

It was common knowledge that soulmarks couldn't be tattooed. Many people have tried to cover their soulark with the ¨permanent” ink when a relationship ended badly and they rejected their fate, but it never stayed. After a week or so the ink would fade and the soulmark shone through once again. But this wasn't tattoos, this was hair dye.

** _One month ago_ **

** _“ virgil, honey please come on just talk to me! What am i doing wrong?” roman pled. It had been a rough week for virgil, his anxiety was through the roof. The last thing he wanted to do was touch another person. _ **

** _“it's not you! I just can't handle this right now” he silently begged his voice to stop shaking, he couldn't handle another attack this week either. Roman placed a hand on virgil's shoulder, the now familiar sensation of physical contact jerking him out of his head._ **

** _“roman im sorry im sorry i just.. Im new to this.you know that”_ **

** _“ this is new for me too...i don't want to argue virgil.. I just want you to talk to me” ‘god why was roman so nice to me?´ a part of virgil thought roman only acted the way he did because he thought he was supposed to. _ **

** _“ i love you..”_ **

** _Virgil didn't answer. He wasn't ready to say it yet. _ **

“i want to dye my hair” logans head shot up from his book in interest. They were sitting in logan's room, alone. It was one of the rare times patton wasn't glued to his side. Virgil secretly wondered if logan enjoyed the breather. 

“ you want to dye your hair…” he repeated, “back to the original color i presume?” 

Virgil nodded. If he ripped it off like a bandaid and get it out in the open he wouldn't let himself back out of it. “ i think.. I think it's for the best” he mumbled quieter this time, no going back now. 

Logan closed his book and walked closer to virgil,towering over him as he examined the colorful strands. ¨ i'm not sure if that would work.. Its worth a try but if tattoos can’t cover them i doubt something like hair dye would… although it is interesting… is your soulmate on your scalp, the colors just being a side affect or is it just your hair¨ logan was talking to himself now as he absentmindedly begane pushing his hands in virgil's hair trying to get a better look. 

¨well, if it was just the scalp then the hair wouldn't change colors immediately would it? But tattoos inject into the skin and the soulmark rejects the pigment, this is hair dye that simply clings onto the stand of hair…. Interesting”

¨so? Do you think it'll work?¨ virgil asked, trying his best to stay still so logan could look. Logan touching his hair felt different from romans.. When roman ran his hands through his hair it was sparks, and it made him feel happier, calmer, no doubt a result of soulmarks touching. But logans hands just felt, dull. 

¨it's worth a try i'd like to see how your hair reacts myself actually” logan finally pulled away from the assault on virgil's hair. “Would you like me to keep this to myself?

“Yes please.. I don't want patton to know yet, and i really don't need roman knowing”   
  
** _3 weeks ago_ **

** _Roman reached down to grab virgil's hand, they were in a crowded cafeteria, no one would see. Just another two soulmates holding hands._ **

** _“Roman..”virgil warned, shoving his hand in his pocket and hunching his shoulders._ **

** _“Why don't you ever wanna hold hands with me? I don't understand-”_ **

** _“Not now roman, not here.” he didn't know if he was talking about the inevitable argument this would bring or the hand holding, but roman should have shut his mouth._ **

** _“Logan and patton hold hands all the time”_ **

** _“i'm not Logan or Patton,” his voice held something a bit more than annoyance, something bordering on hurt. “I’m your boyfriend. You have nothing to worry about okay so just let it go.”_ **

Virgil looked into his reflection with hate. His hair was back to it’s inky black color, and for a moment it was like he woke up from a dream. He had to remind himself again and again that YES he did have a soulmate, and YES it was Roman.. outside the bathroom door he heard someone walking around with Logan. He had decided to do his hair here to get away from his parents, and the talking coming from the hallway could only mean one thing. Patton. Logan’s parents were out on a business trip, as they usually were, leaving only his boyfriend and soulmate as the intruder.

Virgil waited a moment more before opening the door and walking out.

"Virgil! ” Patton gasped, walking closely, eyes focused on his still wet hair.

“don’t touch it, it’ll get on your hands.” Virgil warned, avoiding eye contact. From the way he stood it was clear that Virgil was upset.

“why’d you dye it back?” He knew better than to ask, but the question left his mouth before he could stop it. Logan spoke up to say Patton’s name as a warning from his spot on the couch. He had been watching the scene unfold, not saying anything until then.

“I.. we got in a fight and.. I just… I didn’t wanna look at it” tears filled his eyes as he used all of his will power to stop from crumbling in on himself. Patton’s eyes were filled with worry, closely examining his face as if he could find exactly what was bothering him and smash it like a bug.

** _Two weeks ago_ **

** _“Why don't you talk to me?! Just let me know whats wrong so i can fix it” roman practically begged, no matter what he seemed to do virgil kept himself closed off, he didn't talk about his emotions, he didn't let him touch him in public, he refused to let him meet his family._ **

** _“it’s not that easy Roman! God what don’t you understand?"Virgil was getting snappier than usual, not on purpose by any means but the constant pestering of Roman… "Let’s hold hands” “let’s hug” “let’s snuggle” yes they were soulmates but did he have to act like that all the time?_ **

** _“I.. I just want to show you how much you mean to me” Roman was breaking too. All his life he had shown love through physical affection. Hand holding, cheek kissing, hugs, patts on the back, arms around shoulders. Roman lived his life through touch, and Virgil had shut himself away._ **

** _“I don’t need you to"Virgil mumbled "I’m trying my best…”_ **

** _“I know… I’m sorry…_ **

By the next day the colors were just barely starting to show through the dye, subtle but there if you looked. Roman wanted to come over and talk, Virgil was ignoring his texts.. everything in him wanted to run back into Romans arms, hold him close and cry. To say he'll try harder, that he's sorry, but another part of him knew it wasn't his fault. It was Roman who was being irrational and taking things too fast, expecting too much. If the whole relationship was going to be Roman wanting and expecting things from him, it wasn't going to work.

From: Nerdboi

3:47pm

“fair warning, Roman just texted informing me that he is on his way to your house because you are refusing to answer his messages.

He is worried, and frankly so am I. Will you please send some sort of response to calm our nerves?”

God they were always so worried about him, that was one time like a year ago, let it go.

From: Virgil.

3:49pm

“I’m okay”

He threw his phone and ran his hands through his hair again. As much has he hated the color, he hated that it was fading. By tomorrow morning you surely be able to tell he was covering his purple’s and blues and bright explosions of colors.

That was one thing he always hated about soulmarks, they demanded to be seen. To be felt. To let you know that you’ve been tied to someone for the rest of eternity. The first touch was fire works, the next was Sparks, flaming that little fire of love within you.

** _One week ago_ **

** _“I don’t know what you want me to do!"Virgil cried,"I’m not Patton! I’m not logan! I don’t know how to do all this romantic stuff!” Roman had spent his whole life trying to imagine his soulmate. He always imagined that when they met they’d be holding hands and kissing and always being around each other, but Virgil was so closed off. Sometimes, if they were alone, he would hug up to Roman, and kiss his cheek._ **

** _“you always say your trying… But are you?” It was mean. Hurtful. It was meant to send knives through his heart. And he immediately regretted it. A hand shot up to cover his mouth, stopping any more poisonous word from leaving_ **

** _“get out.” Virgil snapped, wiping his eyes on his sleeves._ **

** _“virgil-”_ **

** _“I am trying Roman! Do you understand how hard to is for me?! Everything you do is so new and different and SCARY!” Virgil crumbled to the ground, breathing heavily. He didn’t know how to put his thoughts into words anymore. Roman took a step closer to him before pulling back. He hurt him._ **

** _“I’m sorry” he tried, the two words not doing nearly enough justice for the meaning_ **

** _“just get out Roman… Please”_ **

** _And he left._ **

Virgil?” Roman walked in the house without knocking, he didn’t need to, he knew he’d be home alone.

He was almost knocked off his feet by a blur of black hair tackling him in a hug. He muffled his sobs into Romans chest and held him as close as he could.

“Virgil your hair…” Worry laced Romans voice, making it abundantly obvious that no one had told him about the hair dye incident.

“I’m sorry”

“Virgil this is NOT your fault. I wasn’t.. thinking straight. I know you’re trying honey I know and I promise you I’m not mad. I love you Virgil.” Roman ran a hand through the black hair, admiring how it almost immediately began fading faster, leaving the rainbow to come shining through.

“I love you” Roman couldn’t help but smile. That was the first time Virgil said it out loud. Virgil leaned forward on his tippy toes and placed a kiss on his lips

  
  


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End file.
